As a late bloomer I came to the Dharma during lockdown. I found my way to Glasgow Buddhist centre (online) via my sister who is an Order Member in Triratna Buddhist Order. Class after class left me in wonder as to how I could have missed this truth for so many years. But I have come to understand that I could only begin to hear the Dharma when the conditions were right for me to listen.
I was married for many years and spent all of that time raising my 3 children (Robyn 28, David 26, Ted 18) and working in our family business.
In 2009 I found recovery from chemical addictions and this started a search for a spiritual solution to the problem of life. It surprises me now that I had to find and reject some strong false refuges before I found the Dharma.
My marriage broke down and I separated from my husband and it was in that crucible I found the Dharma. Since then – with the encouragement of my children – I have sought to immerse myself in a Dharma life.
In 2021 I went to live and work at Adhisthana –a gathering place for the Triratna Buddhist Order. I had the privilege to stay there for a year and in February of this 2023 I took up a position as Maintenance manager here.
And now I want to tell you a story.
It begins a long time ago. On a cold January night. A Scottish Woman was lying on a hospital bed trying to get the attention of a midwife to advise that her baby was now ready to make entry into the world.
I’m told that what followed was dramatic, the description included the birth canal being likened to a water slide and my journey through it noted to be fast and furious. I apparently dropped into the world and onto – the now arrived -midwife. She was surprised and her uniform did require replacing when my home for the previous 9 months followed me in quick succession and-shall I say?-left it stained.
Its hardly surprising that I have been fairly speedy ever since with the first experience of this life as a very fast ride and sudden stop. I was then hailed as a GIRL and that gender label has followed me about for most of my 59 years. As I grew I was called woman, girlfriend, wife, mother and, now, Grandparent – I’m sure – the title Grandmother would have been added to the collection, had the Dharma not found me and given me the courage to notice the way it feels when I say “ Hello, my name is Ren and my pro nouns are they and them.” Just to be clear – I am a non-binary human being. I have stopped wearing the ill-fitting woman suit that always pinched at the edges and never really suited me. Strange then that you find me writing this while living and working here at Taraloka – A Women’s Buddhist Retreat Centre. The Taraloka community generously agreed, that this non binary human who sits somewhere along the gender spectrum, could join them in supporting the Taraloka project, which has at its core a value which lies deep in my heart. “Taraloka wants to give all women the opportunity to come to this amazing place to deepen their practice of the Dharma – whether they can financially afford it or not. As a Dharma Farer and a human being I can get behind that aim.