
a retreat centre for women…. why?
freeing ourselves from gender roles
Often, we do not realise how powerfully we are conditioned by gender roles – whether we are consciously trying to break out of them, or unconsciously going along with them. It affects everyone in different ways.
Many of us find it easier to see our gender conditioning when we are in a less gender-polarised situation. Then we can become freer from it in all the situations in our life.

becoming the human being that we are
When we step into a “single sex” environment, it can become simpler for everyone to be the human being that they are, without being limited or defined by gender. Everyone is simply on the path of developing greater awareness and greater compassion.
As we grow spiritually, we are trying to develop all our qualities – confidence, kindness, resilience, energy, courage – beyond stereotypical gendering.

Women teaching women
Even modern Buddhist practitioners can see male teachers as being somehow “the real deal” and accord them more respect and attention than female teachers.
At Taraloka, serious women practitioners teach other women, and newer women witness the practice of more experienced ones. Women – in all our variety – can go deeper together, stand in our own confidence and take ourselves seriously as spiritual practitioners.

Confidence
Frequently, women’s gender conditioning shows up as a lack of confidence in our own abilities, including as spiritual practitioners. We may want to please everyone, or to be affirmed by male approval or sexual interest.
Ease
We may live with self-consciousness around our bodies or how we look. This tends to ease up when men are not present. We can also drop the ‘wariness’ many women feel around guarding against unwelcome sexual interest.
Release of tension
Other women have had to fight to get taken seriously in our lives – and this becomes a habitual way of being that is tiring and has a tension of its own. It can be a huge relief to be in a situation where that isn’t needed.

honouring gender identity – and ‘sitting loose’ to it
Allowing ourselves to express our gender identity in our lives is an important and essential stage of integrating all that we are. Yet the Buddhist teachings tell us that labels such as ‘woman’, ‘man’ or indeed ‘gender neutral’ do not fix or define what we most deeply are: we are of the nature of change.

Taraloka has a rich history of being a women-only space. However we are – and always have been – open to bookings from a wider diversity of gender identities, including trans women and those considering themselves gender neutral. Your gender identity does, of course, need to be reasonably in keeping with our tradition as a women-centred retreat centre. If you are unsure if Taraloka is a good fit for you, please get in touch.

‘Yes, but…’
It’s not unusual for some people to struggle with their own sex, and find that their friends tend to be of the opposite sex. Yet people on retreat tend to behave quite differently to your average group of men or women. A single sex retreat context can help us come into positive relation with others of our own sex, and allow any difficult conditioning to process and release.
sexual attraction
Frequently people think that it’s about not being sexually attracted to those you’re on retreat with. If you’re heterosexual, that may be helpful, but we welcome many lesbians too, so this doesn’t help everyone!
‘safety’
Some women who have had life experiences of violence from men feel safer because of the absence of men. But of course many people have also received bullying, violence or abuse from women, so again this is not a primary reason for a single sex environment.

Ultimately, it’s like everything in the Buddhist tradition – try it out for yourself, and look at your own experience.